Granted, your computer springs to life and begins a horrific, neverending song and dance.
Your community is shocked and appalled at such a sight, and decide to form an angry mob to lay siege on your home.
In desperation, you try to explain to your peers that the machine is harmless, and at that moment something snaps inside your dearest computer, and it brutally bludgeons the nearest elderly woman to death.
Outraged by this blatant show of aggression, the mob sets fire to you and your home, and nothing is left.
Years later, legends are told of the maniacal doctor and his evil computer who once tried to rule the world.
(tl;dr -- You die)

I wish that I didn't have a worry in the world.

Granted, long seeded aggressions between free market and communist party run countries finally erupts when China, in a blatant dick measuring contest with America, tries to cash in on the debt they've bought from the American government. Sadly it's proven that yet again the Asians have the smaller penis' when America tells China to fuck off and out of spite and humiliation World War III kicks off with a big nuclear bang followed by the comparatively quite virulent biological holocaust that finally and irrevocably removes humanity from the face of the planet. But at least you don't have to pay back those crippling student loans!

I wish I were the key master of all reality.

<_<
>_>

dead topic.... RISE! RISE MY EVIL MINION AND LIVE ONCE AGAIN!
ah gods going to hate me for breking the universal law of not bringing dead topics back to life.

Your wish is granted but you are not allowed to touch, think about, look at, or use the key except to kill/erase yourself from reality forever.

I wish for no more terrible movies,

Your wish is granted, no movies every come out ever again, as all movie directors are killed by the jealous Kim Jung Il of their talent and lack psychotic nature. After a long tiresome campaign, Kim Jung Il is finally killed by his Mexican pool cleaner who was paid off by the US government (for $86 and an ear of corn). From that day forward, all aspiring directors are killed on site to prevent any possible psychos like Kim Jung Il from ever wreaking havoc again.

I wish, I wish, I wish I were a fish.

Oh, and on a side note, I think the forum gods will forgive you, as you're not reviving a dead topic per say as much as jump starting the heart of a hibernating forum.

Didnt we do the fish already? W/e

Wish granted but you are caught by fisherman who smell so bad you die of toxic fumes.

I wish i were a ham sammich.

Wish granted, you become a ham sandwich just in time for Chris Farley and John Belushi to come back from the dead and fight to the death over you. Ultimately they're destroyed by their own violence and you are eaten by a stray dog who was the only witness to this bizarre occurrence.

I wish I hadn't stabbed myself at work today.